Getting Kicked Out of a T-Pain Concert.

“What is the worst or “baddest” thing you’ve ever done?” That is a question I don’t think I’ve ever been asked before, until the other day. In this particular “scenario” I guess the question was legitimate, this person genuinely wanted to know what the worst thing I had ever done was. I suppose when you’re getting to know someone it’s better to just rip off the Band-Aid and tell them your secret identity, where your dogs are buried, and your social security number. Kidding, and ironically I don’t think my mom has gotten around to spreading our dog… Riley (aka Ri-Bones) ashes yet so she very well might still be in a box in our laundry room. Sorry good girl. Okay, but in all seriousness… how do you go about answering this question?

My first thought when I was asked this question was “whoa things just got real.” My second thought was me scheming in my head (sort of chuckling to myself) maybe even add the intense rubbing of the hands together like I just remembered the Krabby Patty secret formula. My third thought was cockiness like “oh boy do I have a story for you.” My final thought was…. crap am I a good kid? Or I guess I should say adult now that I’m 24.

Alright, so in this given situation I was actually kind of disappointed in myself... I realized I don’t have a cool Dexter (essentially cop by day serial killer by night TV show reference) side gig that I can now fully disclose to the first willing participant who happened to ask. No, the only thing I could think of was when my friend Jordan and I (she approved that I could disclose her name since this information is SO BAD) got kicked out of a T-Pain concert. Sweet, right?

Once upon a time in Boise, Idaho at the Knitting Factory downtown (wow this truly does sound like a fairytale) freshmen Jordan and I decided we should spend our Saturday night listening to the auto-tuned magic of a man named T-Pain. We both thought this idea was truly badass and like any freshman… we pre-gamed in the dorms beforehand. Once we were dropped off by our sober ride (like I said people I’m not bad to the bone) we strolled inside and realized we were rather early and needed some drinks. We then decided that our BEST possible solution to this “problem” was to ask our tallest friend to go to the bar, buy us minors drinks, and then we’d run off to the bathroom and drink them in secret in the stall with black X’s branded on both our hands.

Well, even though we thought this plan would go off without a hitch there happened to be A LOT of problems. Once we ran (I repeat ran) to the bathroom and both went into one stall (like any group of girls would do) we were busted by some random “coat check” girl who called us out banging on the bathroom door demanding us to exit. And no, I didn't intentionally try to quote the Shaggy song "It Wasn't Me." Back to the story... it was a bit much I agree but I will never forget how serious this woman took her job I mean… we were at a T-Pain concert for pete sakes. Anyways, we tried playing off the “she needed a tampon” card but coat check girl was not feeling our rebellious vibes. After we exited the stall she had asked if we’d been drinking at the venue, which we responded with no, obviously. She then said (and I will never forget), “okay then I’ll go get a cop and he’ll breathalyze you.” And to that I responded “oh well we haven’t been drinking at the venue per say but we did partake in drinking before we came which could result in us failing a breathalyzer test.” Such a law abiding citizen I am.

Well, she said we could leave or speak with the police so we left before the concert even started.

The moral of the story is, I guess I should be flattered that was the “worst” thing I could think of off the top of my head but also would I have responded honestly if my answer was worse? Like for real, are people going to respond and proudly admit to someone who randomly asks what the worst thing you’ve ever done was? I don't think so.

-iKarli